Jerry’s Swan Song: STEPFATHER II (1989)

Let me begin by saying I regard myself as a good person, but oh my god, am I glad this woman is dead!

Hi, hello there! How are you? How is everything? You good? Me? I cannot complain at all, this past month was super chill due to my making the conscious decision of not relying so much on technology and the internet. Was it a perfect experiment? No, it was not, but at least it was a nice wake-up call and got it out of my system. Mmmh, what else? I went to see Scream (1996) on the big screen and it was as amazing as any horror fan would have expected it. Mmmh, what else, what else? Next month I go to my first post-covid concert and I am ready for it, a little nervous too because it is a festival (Knotfest Los Angeles 2021) with thousands of people. Enough messing around, we are here for a reason so let’s talk horror movies, shall we?

*SPOILERS AHEAD*

A few posts ago I shared with you how much I enjoyed watching The Stepfather (1987) because it gave us insight into the reasoning behind the bad guy’s actions, well, needless to say I was both excited and afraid for part two because, yes, please give me more Jerry Blake, but also no, please do not ruin the perfection that was part one. My final verdict after watching Stepfather II: Make Room for Daddy (1989) was 3.5/10 as it had good intentions with expanding the tormented villain’s journey, but there were several instances where the story did not land in the realm of possibility so it took me out of the very real situation that was a middle-aged man trying to infiltrate himself into a broken home to fulfill a yearning for belonging to a loving [and picture-perfect] family.

Even though I would not recommend watching part two if you truly enjoyed part one, I decided to talk about it here with you because the movie still had a few cool things plus a new character—the nosy woman friend—whose well-deserved death was so satisfying to watch, like, it actually made me happy (!?) which was awesome in my opinion (I’m a good person, I swear).   

Part one ended with a defeated and badly wounded Jerry, with his plans of “ending” his relationship with the mother and daughter from Washington State foiled. Part two started with Jerry locked up in a mental institution for the criminally insane. As it was expected of him, he adapted quickly to his new role and surroundings, was the perfect inmate/patient, and gained the trust of his new psychiatrist which of course allowed him to get, no, scratch that, take what he wanted back… his freedom.

So he escapes out of the prison/hospital, kills when he needs anything of value, makes his way down to Southern California, changes his appearance, rents a home in an elegant neighborhood, decides to make a living as a family therapist (replicates his deceased doctor’s mannerisms), and overall moves on with his life.  

And since Jerry cannot be a happy Jerry without a partner, he does the whole video dating thing (gotta love the 80’s!) and the female options utterly disappoint him, nay, disgust him? What can I say, I myself felt bad for the ladies as they showed up, one by one, on the vhs tape because I could tell right away that none of them were Jerry material as they were all imperfect. Luckily for Jerry, the perfect woman was right there at his fingertips, living next door to him and attending his group therapy (did I say she was also the realtor who helped him lease the house, and who happened to be separated from her husband?), her name was Carol Grayland and did not stand a chance against his charm.

Beautiful and successful Carol Grayland had a young son, Todd Grayland, and he gave Jerry the opportunity to practice his all-American fatherly values and, quite honestly, I was there for it as it was nice seeing Jerry being the normal person we know and love.

Now, things would have stayed great with Jerry’s new bride-to-be & future stepson, and with his enviable home & new private practice (do I really need to use quotation marks on that last part?), had it not been for the nosy woman friend whose name is not important at this time. Needless to say, when Jerry identified her as a threat he got rid of her, however, it ended up being too late as she had already planted the seed of suspicion in Carol’s head. Everything was ruined. Sigh.

Also, one of the many things that annoyed me about her was that she was a disgrace to the U.S. Postal Service as she misused her privileges as a public servant (worked as a mail carrier) to go over Jerry’s mail and stick her nose where it didn’t belong. [Side note: The character must have reminded me of someone in my real life because she really did upset me, so I guess the question from me to me is, who do I know who was equal parts nosy and negligent at her job and who had it in for me? Damn, this thought is going to keep me up all night.]

Anyway, let’s pretend that the nosy woman friend never existed and that our beloved Jerry actually ended up marrying Carol and lived happily ever after (I said let’s pretend, damn it!):

In Love and Fear,

-Marath

© 2016-2021

you BEGOTTEN be kidding me

I made the mistake of watching BEGOTTEN (1989) last night, and even though I don’t really talk about movies I don’t like, today is the exception, so here I am, and so are you.

I was made aware of the existence of the film a while ago thanks to the below image which, if I’m being honest, should have been red flag number one (hyper-contrasted black and white poster, what’s up with that?), nevertheless, I thought it looked cool so I added the movie to my ever-growing to-watch list without even going to IMDb first to find out what the plot was all about, red flag number two (since when am I an adventurous viewer, do I even value my free time?).

So last night happened. It was past midnight and I was not tired whatsoever, red flag number three (I am currently on vacation so my healthy sleep routine is out the window, why do I do this to myself?), thus, I decided to go to the kitchen to prepare a snack and watch something real quick before trying to go to bed… that something ‘real quick’ turned out to be BEGOTTEN as it only had a running time of 1 hour and 12 minutes. I ate a bite of my food and hit play and, unbeknownst to me, this would be my fourth and final mistake as my refreshment would go to waste (became nauseous almost immediately thanks to the opening scene), and my emotional state would take a turn for the worse (I was confused and disgusted but refused to quit watching because I needed to know what the damn thing was and how it ended!).

To be honest, I did not even last five minutes before I became so upset that I decided the only thing that would help me cope with the torturous watching experience would be “documenting” what I was seeing and feeling, therefore, I opened Notepad and started typing away. Enter my stream of consciousness. [NOTE: If I were you, I would say bye right now and skip reading the below text as it is a hot mess and an overall headache to go thru; the only reason why I decided to include my thought “experiment” on this post was because it represented a first-time for me, never have I ever been forced, by my own will, to cope with watching a horror movie, this was a truly painful experience, a harmful one, and would not recommend it. My love for horror was used against me and I lost, here’s my story.]

Silence, please. The constant cricket chirping, human heartbeat, guttural noises, and nonstop sounds are torturous companions throughout this movie. There is no dialogue, only noises. This is too much for my psyche right now. So far, I do not recommend this movie to anyone going through an existential crisis, this is some heavy stuff.// The film is shot in super contrasted B&W film and is difficult to watch at times, and not only because by the time my brain made out what the hell the ‘black blob’ was, I was confused and disgusted by what I just witnessed, a terrifying person sitting on a chair, agonizing in pain, throwing up blood, slicing his skin, dying, emptying his bowels and dripping down his right leg (add thumping and flatulence sounds to the cricket chirping, human heartbeat combo).// When I am about to let my own body relax from the visual/auditory trauma I just witnessed, a woman reveals herself from behind the diseased man, this woman seems to be possessed, in a trance, dancing around the room, touching her breasts... little by little she gets closer to the diseased, kneels down and grabs his hard member and starts stroking it until ejaculate bursts all over her naked belly.// Is this a dream? A nightmare? What am I watching?// More chirping, more heartbeat, more haunting sounds, more blackness, more whiteness, more suffering.// Now we are dragging a body all across hills covered in rocks, the body is convulsing and a placenta-like bag gets expelled from his mouth. What is this? What am I watching? And why does it remind me of an old Marilyn Manson video? Cryptorchid? Okay, okay, focus.// Rain, I hear it now, too bad this comforting sound is accompanied by images of a body being beaten down, why are they hitting him? What am I missing? There are two bodies now, one male and one female, her vagina, his penis, they are hurting their genitals, poking at them, it looks like rape. Is it rape? *instinctively, I cross my legs* It was rape, and she is dead now.// Flies, I hear them now. Crickets, water, insects, I hear them all and I see several men wearing big hats and they are doing something, what is it? It is too damn dark and cannot make it out… I need to concentrate even more. It is torture, not so much what the men are doing (that is over now), but what the movie is doing to me. I cannot force myself to hit stop and call it quits, I need to know how this nightmare ends. But wait, what is the point of finding out how it ends? There is no apparent main character, or villain, or story, or logic to this film; everything is suffering or dying by their own will, or not, all in black and white with no dialogue.// The crickets are gone, but strangely enough, it is finally nighttime and my eyes can rest from the hard saturation and heavy B&W contrasts, now it is black against grey. I only hear the wind now, or is it the ocean? Where are we now?// Oh no, the heartbeat is back. No! The men with the big hats came back for the convulsing man and they are beating him again! Why can’t he die and stop suffering? They came back and so did the sound of flies… what are they doing? I don’t know, I don’t know, I can’t see! Are those bones?// Rain. I see it. I am relieved. I can relate to rain. I know rain. I want more rain.// Drain pipes, organs being shoved into drain pipes with a big wooden stick.// Flowers dying. Sunrise. Flowers growing.// The movie is finally ending. “God killing himself, Mother Earth, Son of Earth - Flesh on Bone”? Okay, so that’s what it all meant!? Thank you, closing credits, for revealing to me the meaning of this nightmare. I honestly had zero idea but I see it now, the terrifying man committing suicide was God, the dancing woman was Mother Earth, and the tortured guy was their Son, and the people with the big hats were… humanity or something or other?? Wowwwwww. The movie was not worth the trauma I just endured. (Never again.) I need a hug, aspirin, tea, and wholesome tv to cleanse my mind.

In Love and Fear,

-Marath

© 2016-2021

Hell Yeah! – THE CONJURING: THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT (2021)

When the third Conjuring movie was released last month I did not pay much attention to it as the trailer was underwhelming to me. Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoyed the first and second movies but this new one looked boring and predictable, like, yes, I know the Warrens were real people and the movies were based on their demonic possession cases but, come on, a guy claiming to having murdered against his will and going to jail for it and having the Warrens at his trial trying to prove that the devil made him do it? Really? Nah, I don’t wanna see a two-hour-long spooky Law & Order episode, I have Hulu for that thank you so much.  

Anyway, cut to a couple of days ago when I had nothing better to do so I took myself to the movies and unironically purchased a ticket for The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It (2021). Long story short, the trailer was full of shit and the annoying trial thingy turned out to be NOT the focus of the film per se and the entire movie was amazing, next level, perfection, a breath of fresh air, a cinematic gift from the Gods, if you will.

Plus, since this was officially my very first horror movie on the big screen post lockdown, my whole mind, body, and soul were primed for a scary good time in the comfort of a big movie theater with popcorn and soda on deck in order to experience the engulfing visuals and surround sound. The cherry on top? I was all alone during the screening, as in, I was the only patron that night who purchased a ticket for that date, that time – I was on cloud nine! Hell yeah!

SPOILERS AHEAD

This time around, Lorraine Warren was portrayed as a stronger woman, wearing the pants in the relationship, taking care of business, literally running, crawling, fighting, kicking butt. The Lorraine of the 80’s would be the one you’d want to call if the shit hit the fan.

Ed Warren, on the other hand, didn’t look so hot as aging and a bad heart got the best of him, after all, he was almost 20 years older than Lorraine so the man was there, wheelchair and cane in tow, ready to help his wife, literally holding her purse while she went investigating the sinister events surrounding Arne’s legal problems. To be fair, towards the end, he regained his strength and was able to use those big, strong arms of his to destroy the witch’s altar.

The witch, better known as The Occultist, was nothing more than a woman with a demonic agenda, you see, she promised the devil a soul in exchange of, well, I actually don’t know, I might have missed that part in the movie but I bet it had something to do with power, money, or eternal youth, you know, the good old classics. So, The Occultists was the estranged daughter of another paranormal professional who happened to be an acquaintance of the Warrens, and she was using a sequence of spells and totems to make people do stuff on her behalf in order to get said soul to the devil.

One of The Occultist initial victims was an 11-year old kid, but (surprise!) the Warrens ended up releasing him from her spell/witch possession and unbeknownst to her the malevolent curse “jumped” to the kid’s older sister’s fiancé, Arne, which (surprise surprise) ultimately benefited her as the strength of a possessed grown man was better than that of a little kid. And yes, of course, just as she wanted him to, Arne did kill for her and that is the only reason why you and I are here today talking about this movie.

The Warrens tried to prove the innocence of Arne Cheyenne Johnson, the 19-year-old claiming to have been possessed against his will by the devil (The Occultist) a few months after a demon “jumped” into him when he, himself, “invited” him in (the demon) as a desperate act while in attendance at the exorcism of the before mentioned 11-year-old (I know, it’s a lot). The murder was a real true crime case that was taken to the Connecticut Superior Court in 1981 in which Arne was found guilty in the murder of his landlord (Alan Bono in real life, Bruno Sauls in the movie) and on November 24, 1981, he was convicted of first-degree manslaughter and sentenced to 10-20 years in prison (only served five). [NOTE: If you would like to know more details about the trial, I suggest you watch this YT video by Estela Naiad.]

So now you know my favorable opinion about the new Conjuring movie and should not surprise you that I highly recommend you go watch it on the big screen as soon as possible. One thing I would like to mention before I close this post is, and all in the name of full transparency, that there were a couple of teeny-tiny aspects that I disliked with a passion:

1st - The ambiance of the film was too dark, like, unnecessarily so and sometimes I found myself thinking, You guys, it’s okay for you to turn on the lights, you will still be spooky and shit. I mean, no joke, it was surprising how out of their way production went to have poorly lit rooms, relying on small lamps, candles, and flashlights… it was almost comical!

2nd - Also almost comical? How the writers tried hard to bias our judgment against the landlord (Arne’s victim) as they portrayed him as the worst person ever, an irresponsible, noisy drunk whose dead would be a positive thing for us watching the movie—the character blasted extremely loud music when on camera, so to see him onscreen was to experience pain in our ears IRL—and a total injustice for poor Arne. The devil made Arne kill? The writers made me enjoy the kill.

In Love and Fear,

-Marath

P.S. The possessed corpse from the morgue? #iconic #moreplease

© 2016-2021