Hi, hello, how are you, how’s it going, what’s gucci, what’s popping?? Listen, listen, so, do you know how much we love going into Instagram to hopefully find in our feed a good Horror movie recommendation? Well, I hit the jackpot early this morning thanks to today’s prompt [Vampire] for the tag #100daysofhalloweenhappy where a handful of people were posting about their favorite vampire character in a movie and, oh my, who was that dashing fella I kept seeing over and over?
It turned out his name was Severen, from Near Dark (1987), so I proceeded to make a mental note of that and promised myself I would watch the movie after work tonight and, oh baby, I just did and these are my thoughts. (By the way, welcome to another installment of THIS FRESH BLOOD, it’s been a minute!)
*spoilers ahead*
First things first, I would like to confess that I chose to watch the movie only because the Severen dude looked super attractive, I mean, how could I resist a bad boy with a smug attitude and a thirst for blood? So yeah, go ahead, call me basic, there’s nothing wrong with it…
Little did I know Near Dark was not about the cool Severen, oh no, it was about Caleb Colton, a down to earth, family oriented young cowboy who happened to be bitten by a nice vampire girl. But don’t feel too bad for him, it was all his fault after all, you see, Caleb, being the young man that he was in his small town, saw the opportunity of talking to a fresh unfamiliar face and you better believe he took it, the problem was that he was a little too aggressive with his flirting and yada, yada, yada, he low-key threaten the girl, Mae, to not drive her home before sunrise if she did not kiss him (I know!), so Mae kissed him of course (I knooooow!) but not without taking a little sip of that sweet, sweet neck artery blood.
And so Caleb was ‘accidentally’ turned into a vampire and was ‘forcefully’ made to join the traveling gang.
Even though it might seem that I am giving Caleb shit, I actually started rooting for him early on and felt bad for the mishaps he had to go through; from having to leave his family without saying goodbye (and them desperately looking for him), to him trying to escape the group (and failing miserably), to being thirsty for blood (and morally not being able to take a life), to being caught in the middle of the reckless behavior of the other vampires (and being shot by the police in the process), to finally being rescued by his father and little sister (and later on having to fight the disgruntled vampires by himself).
Plot twist! Caleb’s father, Loy Colton, was a farm veterinarian and thanks to his ingenuity he gave his son a blood transfusion which, lo and behold, cured him of vampirism.
I’m going to say it again. A simple blood transfusion from a non-vampire to a vampire cured the latter from his, ahem, illness??
I don’t think there is anything else for me to say here. I was pretty much done after the whole transfusion debacle as it felt like an easy way out, but don’t get it wrong, I was happy for Caleb in spite of the fact that the story resolution felt like cheating. Oh, shit, wait a sec! Did I mention that the vampire gang easily burned and died by simply being exposed to the sun? And that Mae was turned back into a mortal thanks to Caleb’s blood transfusion magic? Yeah… I kind of wished Severen hadn’t exploded (his death was super extra btw) so that maybe he could have reprised his role as the mischievous lovable bastard we enjoyed watching, because if his character were still alive then maybe that would have made me care for the movie a little bit (and yes, now I understand why all these girls were posting about him this morning).
Forever basic,
-Marath
© 2016-2020