Fun with the Guys at THE HOUSES OCTOBER BUILT (2014)

If you are like me, you love going to haunted houses come Halloween time, and if you are also like me, you like having fun with the guys. Well, my horror friend, if neither Halloween nor your guys are around to have a good time #COVIDlife, I have the perfect temporary (1hr 31min to be exact) solution for you: THE HOUSES OCTOBER BUILT (2014)

The Houses October Built is a fun movie, and when I say fun I mean almost resembling the kind of fun you would have with your friends IRL. Let me explain.

The movie was shot in the infamous handheld/first person/shaky camera style which, as we know, if not done well it’s really annoying, but surprise, surprise, it really worked in this case because it put you in the perfect frame of mind of you being with your buddies messing around with your camera phones, go-pros, and whatnots.

So the whole movie takes place while the gang drives around the country for one week looking for the perfect haunt, like the next level haunt, the one that would not kill you but almost maybe could. They get into some pretty nice looking haunts and meet some pretty interesting characters who, by the way, are mostly clowns. Giggles was my favorite clown, I mean, what’s not to love? The clean outfit, the perfect laugh, the perfect dance moves, I mean…

Okay, I am not going to spoil the movie for you but as you would imagine, our friends did end up finding that extreme haunt and, man, that’s when the real fun began – SO GOOD!

Also real quick, if you yourself don’t really know what an extreme haunt is, go here for a wholesome introduction to the subject, but on the other hand if you yourself are a crazy person who must experience some masochistic fun at the expense of your own sanity, safety, and freedom because oh-it-feels-so-good, then go here and may god bless you, my child.

See you on the next one,

—Marath

© 2016-2020

Zero Chill - THE LODGE (2019)

THE LODGE (2019) made me cry within the first ten minutes, it made me get mad at the dad without even questioning it, it made me feel awkward for the kids, it made me low-key judge their soon-to-be step-mom, it frightened me, it disgusted me, it shocked me, this movie had zero chill, zero.

**SPOILERS AHEAD**

The Lodge made it to my queue thanks to the many recommendations I got on IG. All of the opinions toward the movie were positive which I found refreshing, but I did not remember anyone saying the film was brutal, like, what-just-happened-I-was-not-expecting-that-and-oh-my-god-I-cannot-stop-watching-it brutal (so brutal!) which I found extraordinary.

I love that. Getting amazed by a movie I already knew was going to be good, watching it evolve into something better than expected, appreciating the story, the acting, the setting, the ambiance, the music, the editing, the realism, oh the realism – I love all of that stuff!

So the mom, Laura Hall, had a very sad ending and I felt so upset about it because it seemed like she had no time to deal with her new reality and her emotions. She was separated from her husband, Richard Hall, who was already in a serious relationship with a, ahem, let’s call her a person of interest-ish (more on that later), so poor Laura gave us the impression that she was holding on to the idea of getting back to her husband but when she went to his house to drop off their kids, Mia and Aiden, she was asked by him to finalize the divorce because he and -ish were going to get married in a few months. And so without a word Laura left and went back to her house and put a gun to her mouth.

So the dad, Richard Hall, was a “free” man and an asshole too; left a marriage; got into a new relationship; told his kids six months after their mother’s suicide that he and -ish were going to get married; was oblivious to the fact that the kids still blamed him and her for their beloved mom’s death; took the kids to their special family vacation lodge for Christmas knowing he would leave them alone with -ish for a couple of days due to work; and when he finally returned to the lodge he got shot by the very questionable -ish because of course she did.

So -ish, or better known as Grace, began as one of the subjects of Richard’s book about cults because she, at 12-years of age, was the only member who did not commit suicide at the deadly cult headed by her own father. Later on, she went from being the book’s subject to being Richard’s object of affection (ew, I hate that I wrote that #cheesyAF). Grace was an enigma, really, all we knew was that she was weird as fuck and not in a good way. And religion, she hated religion and often got nosebleeds when triggered by it. And meds, she needed lots of them to function every day.

(Maybe it was me or something, but due to the many murderers in my life [ha-ha, I’m funny!] I can tell when someone is lying or hiding something [actually, that part is not a joke] so after watching the found footage from the cult, and after seeing how suspish Grace was acting, and how all the dead bodies had the word SIN written in the same style and font, well, like I said, suspish… okay, okay, Grace did it, you made me say it… I know Grace killed all 39 cult members!)

Right, let’s come back to present day when Grace was looking after Richard’s kids at the lodge while he was at work. Grace started sort of obsessing with the religious objects all throughout the place and had crazy eyes and kept taking her meds and having nightmares with flashbacks of the cult’s mass suicide. Long story short, Grace lost her shit, hard, and made us (me) believe that she was the one creating all the chaos intentionally (or unintentionally) at the lodge by hiding all the personal belongings—her meds included—as well as discarding all the food, shutting off the power and water, killing the dog, and playing mind games by printing obituaries of herself and the kids to make them believe they were all dead already…

**SECOND WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD**

So the kids, Mia and Aiden, were actually the ones making Grace lose her shit, you see, the kids hated her and were taking revenge on behalf of their mom. The kids were the ones creating the chaos by hiding everything and shutting off the utilities and pretending they were all dead and in limbo, with their souls trapped in the snowed in lodge. When the little shits realized they had gone too far, it was too late, Grace was no longer in her right state of mind and decided to “save” them by freeing their souls with death. Grace had a last supper with the bounded Mia and Aiden and also with Richard—already dead but nonetheless present at the table—and with such a calm demeanor she placed the same gray tape, once used on her former cult members, on the mouth of the kids with the same word SIN written over it. (I TOLD YOU SHE’D DONE IT!)

In Love and Fear,

-Marath

P.S. “You need to sacrifice something for The Lord.”

© 2016-2020

Sexual Remake – FRIGHT NIGHT (2011)

A couple of days ago I learned about the movie FRIGHT NIGHT (2011) and the potential it had of being a good remake, and so I decided to watch it for the first time, and so I did, and I have opinions.

But before I get into it, I would like to state for the record that even though I thought this 2011 remake was pretty good, I strongly believe, one-hundred percent, and without any room for debate, that the 1985 original film was a superior production, period. But here’s the thing, in spite of the fact that I am a sucker for 80’s horror nostalgia, I can still judge what better suits my horror needs regardless of when it was made. Now, if you have followed me on Instagram or read my blog, then you already know I have a soft spot for gorgeous men, so it is safe to say this remake made me feel a little something something (criiiiinge!) which, of course, was greatly appreciated. Enter Colin Farrell, sexual Colin Farrell.

Vampires are supposed to possess that supernatural lure that makes them irresistible, yes, vampires are meant to be sexy and we all like them for it. Now, hear me out, the 1985 vampire, Jerry, was not appealing to me at all for some odd reason, I mean, he simply did not have that je ne sais quoi, but girl, the 2011 vampire had all the good stuff! And mind you, I could care less for the actor himself, I cannot even remember him in another movie, but somehow Farrell worked exceptionally well in his role as Jerry.

I usually do not complain about the stuff I dislike in movies but oh goodness gracious, it must be said: The 2011 Peter Vincent was so bad, and I do not mean he was a bad actor, no, the man playing the character is an irrefutably good actor, what I mean is that the character was such a, ahem, caricature of a person, if you will. Zero depth, nada, zilch! Also, can we all agree that the new Ed was so forgettable? Nothing in comparison to the original Evil Ed who was guaranteed to win your heart in his human form and give you nightmares in his vampire form. Here, let’s take a look at the original Peter and Ed to cleanse our palate:

So, to reiterate, in my honest opinion, I believe Fright Night (2011) was a good movie but only because of its sexy vampire and that is it, period.

In Love and Fear,

—Marath

© 2016-2020