No, Angela Is Not Alright – SLEEPAWAY CAMP (1983)

Original Post Date: 08.01.18

Sleepaway Camp (1983) had been on my radar for quite some time but its premise did not catch my attention enough to rent it online; I don’t know, I have this thing where I get a bit annoyed by child actors in horror movies so the mere thought of sitting in front of my computer for an hour and a half, cringing at every little thing, rolling my eyes in disapproval, well, all that prevented me from watching it. But just recently, images of the movie seemed to pop up on my IG feed and since even Witch Finger Horror Podcast released an episode about it—which by the way I will listen to as soon as I post this entry—I took it as a sign and said to myself, ‘Marath, darling, just freaking do it, would you?’. So I did!

Honest opinion? The movie was not as annoying as I thought it would be, but keep in mind I already knew the big reveal from the end (don’t worry, I am not going to spoil it for you). Needless to say, I watched the movie for the beginning and middle parts of the story. I wanted to know about Angela. More honest opinion? Fuck you, aunt Martha!

Poor dear Angela was super shy and quiet and awkward at summer camp, but luckily for her she had cousin Ricky to protect her from the adults running the camp, the teenage camp counselors, and her very own camp peers. Poor, poor Angela, she got shit from everyone just for being different! By the way, cousin Ricky was aunt Martha’s son, and aunt Martha was the one taking Angela in when her father and sibling were killed in a boating accident. Poor Angela.

So by now we know Angela survived a traumatic event in her childhood, got adopted by crazy-eyes Martha, is terribly shy and quiet, is being bullied by everyone, and, thankfully, has Ricky by her side. Aaaaand this is when things start getting weird as, one by one, Angela’s bullies start dying. Let’s take a look at all the summer camp deaths in chronological order.

Pedophile cook, boiling water:

Counselor #1, drowning: 

Counselor #2, bees:

Counselor #3, stabbed:

Camp peer, smothered + something freaky done with a hair straightener? (you guys, WTF!):

More counselors, hacked: 

Sleazy camp owner, arrow to the neck:

Boyfriend, decapitated:

If you were to ask all of us who know the true story about Angela (fuck you again, aunt Martha!), yes, the real story about “Angela”, if you were to ask us if she was alright, we would gladly tell you that no, she is not alright, but thank you so much for asking anyway.

Let us raise our imaginary glasses to make a toast for Angela, a badass survivor. Hear, hear!

- Marath

P.S. Now if you excuse me, I have a date with the witches. Episode 32, here I come!

Oh So Intense – Der Todesking (1990)

Original Post Date: 07.11.18

“He makes people want to die.”

Suicide. That’s the subject explored on Jorg Buttgereit’s second film Der Todesking/The Death King (1990). It is an anthology of sorts, divided by the seven days of the week, Monday and Tuesday being my favorite as they were connected by their protagonist, the building neighbors, one obsessed by fish and the other by movies, this last guy, movie guy, was the one living the dream, the VHS dream that is.

Even though Der Todesking was oh so intense, and with the potential to fuck someone up if found under a fragile state of mind, I thought it was a good and easy movie to watch, especially due to the nostalgic VHS video store scene. I enjoyed it so much that I decided to share it with the world. So world, I give you, Dienstag/Tuesday:

(you’re welcome)

- Marath

Yes to YAZ! – Leatherface (2017)

Original Post Date: 06.10.18

Happy Sunday! I hope you had a nice weekend doing (or not doing) what you wanted. Life is good, baby, and I am glad you and I are here tonight getting our daily dose of Horror.

I would like to talk about Leatherface (2017) for a sec, but first, let’s watch that sexy trailer, shall we?

Just between us girls, this movie is 60% responsible for my love of the undeniably iconic horror character that is Leatherface. Leatherface was already cool in my book thanks to its original introduction on The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974), that guy was terrifying and appealing at the same time, dude, the scene where he grabs the girl and gets her back into the house only to put her thru the hook? And the other classic scene of him being mad and swinging his chainsaw in frustration for having let the other girl escape? I mean, it was a solid 40% right there. Anyhow, this Leatherface prequel made me understand the complexity of his personality and character and, to put it bluntly, this new movie humanized the monster that was meant to be.

As per usual, when I want to talk about a film I take notes so I have in front of me four pages worth of notes and whatnots but in the spirit of going to bed early for a change, I decided instead to give you my top 5 Yes to YAZ! list of my favorite characters from Leatherface, let’s begin!

5. Jed as a kid – That scene from the beginning at his birthday party broke my heart, as you could clearly see the kid did not belong with that demented family (my instincts were to protect him and take him away from there!). But oh, little Jed, you were only the product of your environment, weren’t you? That cow’s head tho.

4. Jed as Leatherface – This young man could have ended living a normal life in the middle of nowhere, being happy raising sheep and having a family of his own, guaranteed. Had he not been there when the riot happened, had he stayed in treatment, had he be given a chance, he could have been just like you and me. But we all know how things turned out for him… (Also, not a spoiler, but the scene showing why he now needed to wear a mask to cover his now deformed face was so satisfying to watch!)

3. Lizzy – I am not going to lie, I fell in love with her, as in, may I please take you on date kind of deal. This woman had it all, intelligence, strength, authority, compassion, kindness, and yes, the face of an angel. Lizzy was a nurse at the hospital where Jed (teenage Leatherface) had been living for the last handful of years after having been taken away from his violent home. Lizzy was also the hostage when all hell broke loose at said hospital. She stayed strong until the end. 

2. Clarice – If Lizzy was the perfect girl you take home to meet your parents, Clarice was the girl you swear on your mama’s grave has nothing to do with you while secretly living the most explosive love affair. I believe the keyword here is explosive. Homegirl likes to go wild! Wild at the hospital, wild at the diner, while at the camper (that love scene on top of the corpse!), wild until her last breath.

1. Verna – Mama Verna meant business. She raised her family on her own. She was bold and protective. After losing her kid to social services, she cleaned her act, married money, and hired a good lawyer to help her get her family back. Verna was now ultra-bold and ultra-protective and, shall we say, ultra-angry? She followed her heart and her heart followed her back. A family reunited makes everything okay, right?

Okay my friend, it’s time for me to go, turn off this computer, turn off the lights, turn off the brain. Time to rest and get ready for more horror in the morning. Good night.

- Marath