@KurtsWorld96 Needs You to Follow, Share, Like, and Subscribe - SPREE (2020)

Happy long weekend, my horror friends, hope life is treating you well and that you are taking care of yourself. Things are pretty okay on my side of the world, here in sunny Los Angeles, although, for full transparency, I should disclose that right this moment it is not sunny but cloudy and cold with a chilly temperature of 56 degrees Fahrenheit (13.33 Celsius for those of you living outside the US), but hey, let’s quit the small talk and let’s get down to business, shall we?

Spree (2020) tells the story of a guy you and I might know in real life, you know, the one so obsessed with social media that makes things awkward for us, often complaining how the algorithm is out to get them, how their posts are not getting enough views or likes, the person blaming others for the poor performance on their streams or yt videos, often begging you to please follow, share, like, and subscribe.

In all fairness, our main dude, Kurt Kunkle, was a very young man with an arguably narrow view of the world, still living with his mother who was more likely struggling herself due to money problems—house had a For Sale by Owner sign—and relationship problems—the husband, Kurt’s dad, was out of the picture and was portrayed as a good-for-nothing junkie—also, we did not get the impression that Kurt had a college education or a technical skill that would afford him a stable and lucrative job in the immediate future. So all that, the lack of life experience, of independence, of a rock-solid home environment, of a career, all that combined with loneliness—Kurt did not appear to have a romantic partner or real friends—along with the ever growing unrealistic expectations to perform well—metrics or otherwise—online, all those things were what made Kurt break from reality and come up with #theLesson as a gift to his followers, or lack thereof.

His delusions would culminate tragically on Friday, April 12, 2019 in sunny Los Angeles.

#theLesson was a Live online tutorial on how to “up your social media game” given by Kurt while he went about his day as a gig worker driving for Spree, one of the few rideshare app services in the city. #theLesson was streamed via LiveFly thanks to eight GoPro cameras rigged inside Kurt’s car, plus, as a special offer to his premium subscribers, he would also go Live on his socials and screen share his phone.

Okay, but what was the lesson, actually? It was a psychotic demonstration on how to go viral by committing multiple homicides in real time and on Live camera, simple as that.

Before we move forward, I would like to point out the obvious by saying that yes, Spree was an in-your-face commentary on the American society of the twenty-first century and how wrong we are as a group of people, how we have allowed our younger generations to lose touch with what matters most (family, education, progress, etc.) and see them rule their lives by things that are meaningless, truly inconsequential (numbers on an app designed by a few with the sole purpose of making money for an even fewer), and not only that, the fact that many have to face for the very first time the harsh realities of insane real estate prices and a saturated job market, no wonder why they turn to mom and dad for a place to crash, and to big tech for the extra cash.

Right. Now that that is out of the way, I would like to list all the things I enjoyed about Spree, spoilers ahead:

  • The found footage and screenlife style (two of my preferred horror subgenres)

  • The use of modern technology and apps

  • Topics around family dysfunction, addiction, and mental illness

  • Kurt’s draw my life YouTube video

  • Him confessing on a clip—after ten years of continually posting online—that it was all a metrics game and that he felt “like a zero”

  • His Starbucks cup misspelled as Curt #relatable

  • His greasy hair and scumbro fashion

  • Random San Fernando Valley and Hollywood sights

  • The soundtrack and film score

  • All the small details performed by the actor playing Kurt, that is, Joe Keery; from the odd tone and volume of his voice when trying to appear confident, to standing up awkwardly when being berated by the influencer kid, Bobby, and, of course, cannot forget his displaying uncomfortable sexual energy around women. Wait, another one of my favorites for some reason was his twitching on the seat while discreetly scratching his genitals (I know, I know, don’t judge me)

  • The scene with Mario and Jessie as the dialogue flowed so well, including the following line delivered by Kurt: “Full disclosure, FYI, I’m totally and completely transparent” (why was that so funny to me?)

  • Then, when it was only Mario talking rubbish about Jessie—she got out of the car safely after standing up to Mario—and having a fit about being late to his, ahem, lovemaking date, Kurt suddenly matched his aggressive behavior and also started punching the seat like a lunatic (I thought this mirroring moment was pretty neat in a horror movie)

  • The gas station scene when Kurt was being super loud talking to the stream (Bobby was the only one watching at this point) then suddenly changing to being super quiet when realizing a cop was next to him filling gas into the patrol car, mind you, he kept talking about the murders (four by now) but in a quiet voice while inconspicuously wiping the blood off the windshield and front bumper

  • The Black & White overhead security footage at the gas station which is, at this point in our modern lives, a quintessential staple for all true crime inspired content

  • The drive-through carwash scene, specifically, when the car was covered in bloodied foaming soap, when an overexcited Kurt asked Bobby what he thought of the triple murder at the junkyard from just a few minutes ago, when Bobby was condescending yet again and told him he was simply “not good at this”

  • Kurt being so offended by Jessie, an actual influencer, for not following “correct” branding methods, for not posting relatable content, and for not recording vertically

  • Kurt taking his social media resentment and metrics jealousy toward Jessie out on Bobby

  • When Bobby gets stabbed and yells at Kurt, “THIS SHIT ISN’T SUPPOSED TO BE REAL!” which, in my opinion, gave gravitas to the entire movie

  • Kurt taking a shower to get rid of Bobby’s blood and being super happy for reaching triple digits on his stream

  • Kurt’s sinister Google searches

  • His DJ dad being worried about BPA’s but not heroin

  • The taco truck scene for reminding me that L.A. has the best tacos in Southern California

  • The chase scene on the freeway for reminding me that L.A. has the worst traffic in the US

  • Kurt hilariously eating the asada fries as he is being chased on the freeway while driving against incoming traffic at nighttime

  • When he goes to Jessie’s stand up show with the intention to ‘take over’ but has a change of heart due to her ‘inspiring message’ and leaves quietly and unnoticed

  • Him realizing thanks to Jessie that “love is more powerful than anything… (*contemplates silently*)… it’s a good branding tool”

  • The tweet by Spree CEO notifying L.A. County users that services were suspended effective immediately and until further notice due to an ongoing investigation #ridesharekiller

  • Kurt planning his next move while he seats at the back of a GoGo ride (he crashed his car during the chase and he himself now needed a ride home)

  • Seeing him succeed at going viral in less than 24 hours thanks to #theLesson, going from single digits to over 58K views

  • On the other hand, seeing him fail at not getting killed in the end (karma, baby)

  • After all is done and over with, his social presence being taken down by all the various platforms with the exception of Reddit where his followers (aka Kurties) gather to praise him

  • The not so secret 4chan forum where an anonymous user collects saved videos and links from 04/12/19 to make a movie about Kurt

  • Finally, on 06/14/19 when said user releases his tribute movie and calls it SPREE

Circling back to the actor playing Kurt, Joe Keery, I have to give him huge props for doing an absolutely excellent job at portraying a very believable streamer/YouTuber as his mannerisms in general reminded me of a handful of real life vloggers and reaction channel personalities, you can tell he seriously prepared for the role.

Anyway, I loved this movie so freaking much that it’s low-key embarrassing and don’t ever want to talk about it again. Okay, bye.

In Love and Fear,

—Marath

© 2016-2022

Yes to YAZ! - Countdown (2019)

Please, Lord, forgive me for I have sinned in the past and now regret it and humbly come to you to confess my wrongdoing: When Countdown (2019) was released in theaters I thought I was too good for it and chose not to go see it with my friends. I am a horrible person and deeply regret this sin of mine, pride got the best of me once again. Please, forgive me.

Although I am clearly joking about regretting my not watching Countdown when it first came out, I do sincerely feel remorseful for thinking that this horror film, this seemingly silly movie with the goofy killer app storyline and the cringey tagline of ‘DEATH? THERE’S AN APP FOR THAT’ was below me, well, I… (*looks around*)… um, the thing is… (*takes a deep breath*)… yes, I admit it, I was a judgmental asshole for underestimating the whole thing and yes I was the worse and yes I failed you, you, my real life friends who went to the movies without me, please, do accept my apologies and allow me to try to make amends for my shortcomings, even if it is three years too late.

For this reason, and this reason only, we are all gathered here today on this cold and solemn Sunday morning, under this one roof, and the easiest way I know how to go about doing this… (*laughs and changes to usual blogging voice*)… is by listing my top five Yes to YAZ! favorite moments for Countdown! So let’s do this, my internet horror friends, and if I forgot to say it at the beginning, Hello, Hi, Hi, hope you are doing amazing on this blessed day (and thank you for playing along, u da best! ;)

#05. THE APP: I see it now, the storyline was not silly—the tagline yes, still believe it was cringey—and, on the contrary, it was a refreshing take on the very real subject of death and dying. If you dowloaded the app called Countdown, accepted the User Agreement and added your personal info, it would then tell you how many years/days/hours/minutes/seconds you had before dying. The app was not designed to kill you, it was designed to tell you when you were going to die, however, if you broke the user agreement by willingly avoiding a situation which would more likely cause your death when you knew your time of death was fast approaching (getting out of a car operated by a drunk driver, opting out of surgery at the hospital, etc.), then, and only then, would Death come and personally collect you.

#04. DEATH: The horned Grim Reaper was a badass, his appearance was plain and classic yet his built was massive and impressive. (Girl, it was a look! Ew, wait a sec, did I find Death attractive?! WTactualF!!) I also liked how he was there to make sure you died according to plan, and by that I mean to your own unique “life plan” or “destiny” or whatever you want to call it. Again, Death and the app were not choosing your time of death or sentencing you to die, they were simply sharing with you the invaluable knowledge of the exact time it was going to happen to you and if you broke the “natural” course of things, the app would alert you with a sleek phone notification and Death would finish the job, simple as that.

#03. DR. SULLIVAN: Yep… (*blushes*)… that’s it.

#02. COMIC RELIEF CHARACTERS: The smartphone technician, Derek, and the priest, Father John, were hilarious, and even though this was not a horror comedy their jokes and dopey behavior worked extremely well and did not feel forced or awkward to the story. Sure, Tom Segura played the tech guy so that by default made his character the best thing ever but come on, a renown comic playing a sharp and witty tech guy while being a smart-ass in a horror movie? Dude, seriously, can I get an Amen in here? — AMEN!

#01. THE MAIN CHARACTER: Quinn Harris was our main girl and thru her we got to experience a plethora of emotions, all the ups and downs from her personal, professional, and family life, plus the damn app, of course. She was an RN which came in handy as she used her medical knowledge to trick Death and, well, I am not going to totally spoil the ending for you but let’s just say she was a worthy adversary who had zero time for nonsense!

What did I learn from Countdown, that is, other than being a judgmental asshole is embarrassing? I would have to say, without any question or doubt, that if given the option I would NOT want to know when I, Marath, will cease to exist from this earthly kingdom of God. Fuck that shit.

In Love and Fear,

—Marath

© 2016-2022

Frightening Unblinking Dead Eyes & Disturbingly Unyielding Teeth-Baring Grins: SMILE (2022)

Alright, alright, I’ll be quick since everyone and their mother already told you about SMILE (2022). Hold on to your panties, girlies, major spoilers ahead!

Rose Cotter is a caring—too caring, maybe? [gurrrl, chill, you deserve to have a life of your own, sheesh!]—psychotherapist—psychiatrist? the internet keeps referring to her as a psychiatrist but that’s not what I got when I watched the movie because psychiatrists are famously known for their pill-pushing, no bs attitude (read: to them, you are not a whole person, you are an illness) and Rose was nothing but a bundle of cozy vibes (read: she would mother you and listen to you and give you emotional hugs, you know, like an overly sweet psychotherapist that does the most)—working at an Emergency Hospital.

But pause. Why did Rose do the most? Well, luckily for us the movie was not shy abut showing her traumatizing childhood because of course her trauma came from childhood because obviously it did (we humans are so basic lol). Her single mom was severely mentally ill, like, not being able to get out of bed for days on end ill, like, having a bad case of debilitating depression of the kind that would scare a child, you know, like precious Rose. So long story short, little Rose left her mother to die (pill overdose) when she’d asked her to go call for help (closed the bedroom door instead and, hours later, found her lifeless body), so big Rose became a devoted mental health professional to cope with her deep-rooted guilt.

Let’s continue. So yes, Rose is a super hard worker, loved by the entire staff including her boss who looks after her and instructs her to go home because, again, she overdoes it to the point of potential negligence; she obeys and grabs her coat and purse, closes her office door, listens to the phone ringing in the distance and, instead of keep on walking and doing the sensible thing by ending the days-long shift, going home and resting, she runs, quite literally, back into her office [gurrrl, your mama ain’t gonna come back] and picks up the phone and seals her fate.

Turns out, this last-minute patient has the “smile” curse which will latch onto Rose as soon as she (patient) performs a traumatic action—more easily done in the form of a violent, messy, and bloody suicide—in front of her, you see, the curse needs an audience to survive. Doomed, poor Rose sees the patient slash her throat while bearing those frightening unblinking dead eyes and a disturbingly unyielding teeth-baring grin… Rose is now royally f@cked… tick-tock, tick-tock.

At the beginning, Rose thinks her sudden odd behavior is due to her childhood trauma being resurfaced by the traumatic event at work so she, thanks to her boss giving her a paid week off to de-stress, takes it easy and goes back to her own therapist to get some clarity but of course she doesn’t get it because it is not normal human trauma but spooky demon trauma and—I am now fast-forwarding an hour into the movie here so heads-up on the information whiplash—she ends up finding out that in order to get better she has to commit murder in the presence of someone else (audience, remember?) so the curse can jump from her to that third person (instead of being from person-to-person), thus rendering her free and alive, yes, messed up and imprisoned, but alive nonetheless.

Buuuut she doesn’t hurt anyone because she is a good person (or because she STILL blames herself for her mom’s death and wholeheartedly BELIEVES she deserves to be punished for it somehow) and instead tries to stick it to the curse and goes into isolation (no audience) and hurts (okay, kills) herself by immolation at her abandoned childhood home which was a beautifully crafted full-circle moment tbh.

Unfortunately, while Rose thought she was alone when she set herself on fire her detective ex-boyfriend was actually there, behind her, bearing witness to the trauma so get ready for the sequel.

In Love and Fear,

-Marath

© 2016-2022