BEHIND CLOSED DOORS: Why You Do Me This Way?

WHY!? Why you do me this way, Behind Closed Doors? What did I do to deserve such aggravation? 10 out of 10 triggered.

Hahaha, in all seriousness, I loved (L-O-V-E-D) this book so much and I am so happy to be here to tell you all about it. So, girlfriend, go make yourself comfortable and get ready to be gaslit (gaslighted?) second-handedly thanks to B. A. Paris and her exquisite, yet malevolent, main character—whom I did not (did not!) grow to adore—Mr. Jack Angel.

*SPOILERS AHEAD*

Few are the fiction authors whose writing style is so captivating I cannot put down their books and each paragraph, each chapter, feeds a sort of hunger that can only be satiated by more words, more prose. In the case of this thriller and suspense masterpiece, B. A. Paris kept nourishing me non-stop by way of psychological fiction, even if each bite hurt and made me feel sick, I could not stop asking for more, no, demanding for more as it was simply too delicious.

From the very start we were made aware that Grace Angel, Jack’s wife, was hiding something sinister and none of her acquaintances had a clue of it (well, Esther kind of did) and it was heartbreaking learning little by little how despicable Jack, the perfect husband and perfect lawyer, really was. Behind Closed Doors was Grace’s story told by her while jumping from The Past to The Present in each chapter and, in a brilliantly told way, she gave us morsels of information in one chapter to only jump to the next to lead us to believe that whatever we thought happened might had happened (the narrative played with time), to then—bam!—confirm in the next one, and in gut-wrenching graphic detail, that indeed it did. The best way I can describe this literary back and forth dance would be to compare it to sex; the rhythm from one chapter only got amplified on the next to only explode in the following one.

Now, having said that, did I like to learn that Jack allegedly killed his mom when he was a teenager and worshiped his violent dad to only blame him for his crime? No, I did not. Did I like to learn that Jack gave Grace a dog to only starve it to death? No, I didn’t! Did I enjoy learning of Jack’s plan to use Grace to get to Millie, Grace’s younger sister with Down syndrome, so he could torture her? NO! OF COURSE NOT! But did I appreciate how he did all those things? Mmmh, I mean, I was not mad about it…

Please, hear me out, don’t judge me too hard, okay? I feel like you can tell where I am coming from, given that we are both horror fans with a soft spot for troubled, good looking, bad boys… what was that? How do I know he was good looking? Oh, damn, I actually don’t know but all I can say is that the whole time I was picturing him like this:

[I can thank The Invisible Man (2020) for the male image cue due the movie’s subject on domestic abuse… *eye roll*]

So, as I was saying, Jack was problematic but in a non-repulsive kind of way and, truth be told, on the chapter where Grace escapes from her room and tries to hide downstairs in the pitch-black sitting area while doing her best not to make a sound so Jack wouldn’t find her, he, all of the sudden, breathes on her right cheek and says “Boo!”—AAAH!—I lost it here. I loved that my brain was being extra generous with me in that specific moment and let me enjoy that scene to the maximum by ‘feeling’ Jack’s breath on my own right cheek and by ‘hearing’ that Boo on my right ear and by giving me goose bumps so hard that I had to put the book down and stand up to shake it off. (Yes, I looked like a crazy person when this happened but I mean who cares.)

I am not going to talk about the ending but I will say this, I wish Grace had been there with Jack when “it” happened so that we could have heard all the gory juicy details, alas, just by knowing that “it” happened and that Esther had Grace’s back (God bless her female instinct) and that she and Millie were now free and safe, girl, that was all we could have really asked for.

If I didn’t make myself clear, this book was such a hard hitter that at times it made me feel gross and triggered and offended and, at other times (most of the times?), the total opposite (don’t judge me). I would highly recommend Behind Closed Doors if you are in the mood for mind games and some good old fashioned gaslighting all while being entertained by a handsome psychopath. #sorryNOTsorry

In Love and Fear,

-Marath

© 2016-2021

It Is Done… It’s Done – HUSH (2016)

Hush (2016) is a streaming-only movie—wonder if it is ever going to get released via physical format so I can add it to my horror dvd collection—for which I will sit down and watch from beginning to end; for me, there is no casual viewing of Hush, nor simply playing it in the background while I do something else. No. If I make the grave mistake of hitting play, then my day is put on hold for one hour and twenty-two minutes. I have lost many hours of my life thanks to Hush, but hey, what can I say? That is a good problem to have.

“Easy. Easy. Hey, hey, hey! Hey, come on. It is done. It is done… It’s done.” –The Man

**SPOILERS AHEAD**

Hush tells the story of Maddie, a horror writer struggling with choosing a good ending for her second book. Maddie is deaf and mute and lives alone with her cat in the middle of the woods and, as expected, is independent and even prepared to tackle on her own the occasional kitchen emergency (she is a terrible cook). Maddie is friendly to her neighbors, as well as to her old buddies from the city, who often check in on her via FaceTime or in person to make sure she is okay (there is an ex, don’t ask).

One night, out of the blue, a total stranger decides to have a killing spree and ends up showing up at Maddie’s home. She cannot hear her neighbor yelling bloody murder or even notice the man knocking on the glass door with a knife – she is in the zone, writing, living her life, inside her own home, all alone, in danger as of this very exact moment.

When I tell you that the man was a cold-blooded bastard, you better believe me. Actually, do you know what? His attitude reminded me a little bit to real-life Canadian-American serial killer “Happy Face Killer,” but since that is a different story for a different time, let’s just say that this murderer, albeit fictional, also had the characteristic crazy stare and inflated ego with the disturbing matter-of-fact statements, always violent and delivered in a calm voice.

“I can come in anytime I want. And I can get you, anytime I want. But I'm not going to. Not until it's time. When you wish you're dead... that's when I'll come inside.” –The Man

So Maddie quickly realizes she is on her own and cannot contact anyone for help as the man not only cut the power, thus rendering her laptop useless due to the lack of Wi-Fi, but also stole her cellphone. (Gone are the days of the ever so reliable landline phone.) She tries to hide inside her extremely dark glass wall house, then she tries to escape, but ends up getting injured in the process. Maddie saw her options in her writer’s mind—she can ‘listen’ to a female voice giving her multiple scenarios—but since she realizes she is already too weak, unable to run, slowly bleeding out, and losing her vision, she pretty much accepts her dire situation and decides her best choice is to try to kill the man, but not without first writing a goodbye note to her parents.

Oh brother, the final fight was great and it made me glad seeing how Maddie kept going until the end, even when using her last ounce of strength… her every move was calculated, like a beautifully performed gut-retching swan song… she knew she could die by fighting back, but also knew, with absolute certainty, she would if she didn’t. 

And she did it. She killed the man. She survived. She got her cellphone back and with trembling bloodied fingers dialed 911.

As if the ending was not flawless enough, on the very last scene when Maddie was waiting outside for the police to arrive we can see her with her eyes closed, smiling ever so slightly, as if she was not only relieved and happy for making it alive, but also for now knowing the perfect ending for her book; it is done… it’s done.

In Love and Fear,

-Marath

© 2016-2021

Yes to YAZ! – The People Under the Stairs (1991)

The People Under the Stairs (1991) has a very special place in my heart as it was one of the first horror movies I ever watched in my childhood. When I try to go back and remember my first time watching it I cannot help but feel happy and sad, well, not really sad, more like nostalgic. I wish I had the courage to type the words of the image I see in my mind about that special afternoon, but I hate to admit that that moment was simply too precious and too personal to be shared with the public, it would cheapen it and I cannot allow that.

What I can say is this, this movie was a catalyst for my natural inclination towards liking and enjoying horror. This movie made me feel for some of the characters which, as it happened to be, looked different but to me it did not mean that they were bad, they were just different. Sure, they were portrayed as the scary ones, hidden in the dark basement and inside the walls, ready to attack should you get close to them, but my child brain saw them as victims, imprisoned and desperate to get help. My empathetic eye saw people in need and it did not matter that they looked different, their mutilated faces and disheveled appearance did not scare me, it only made me want to protect them and take care of them. The people under the stairs—as they were called—were just people to me.

Watching the movie as a child was captivating as two of the main characters, Fool and Alice, were kids like I was and it felt great seeing someone who looked like me having those exciting adventures, and it was equally fascinating getting to see them go from one extreme to the other; for Fool, going from almost being evicted to being rich, and for Alice, going from being kidnapped (unbeknownst to her) and physically and emotionally abused (sexually too?) to being awaken to the realization she was free and allowed to fight back. Fool became a hero and Alice became a survivor.

Now, re-watching the movie in my 30’s is a different experience and I am here to talk about it. So, what I would like to do now is give you my top 5 Yes to YAZ! list of my favorite characters as seeing thru my very own adult eyes –let’s begin!

**SPOILERS AHEAD**

05. FOOL – Poindexter aka Dexter aka Fool was such a trooper from the beginning. At just thirteen years old he took it upon himself to get the money his family needed in order to not get evicted, you see, he felt like he was the Man of the house since his mother was very sick with cancer and his big sister was taking care of her babies; life was tough and unfair but all he knew was that he needed to get cash to pay the greedy landlord within the next 24 hours. Granted, he chose the one illegal option he saw feasible at such a short notice and decided to be part of a home robbery scheme and, since nothing good ever came from doing something bad, he and his “mentors” ended up being unwilling prisoners for the homeowners who—surprise!—were the landlords themselves. Fool was brave and compassionate at every occasion. This kid did his best and I admired him for it.

04. THE “MOM” – This lady was something else, a total Karen, yikes. She first gave me a suspicious vibe, like she was hiding something, and lo and behold, she was! Not much can be said about her other than she stole multiple kids to keep them for herself but once they acted up she mutilated them and discarded them and unto the next she went, oh, and she was playing house with her brother, double yikes. Here comes the kicker though, the reason why I liked her character was because she was not perfect, she was so fucked up and got to see her deteriorate as the movie progressed… what can I say, I love a good trainwreck.  

03. THE “SIBLINGS” – These guys were the best! Sure, they were scary looking as I mentioned above, but the poor guys were just victims. I still feel bad for them, and I still want to help them.

02. THE “DAD” – Real talk? Now that I get to re-watch this movie with my adult eyes I cannot pretend to not notice how attractive the dad is. Wait, what was that? He isn’t and it’s just me and my disgusting and depraved taste in men? What!? Are you telling me that a tall and trim man whose hobby is dressing in a BDSM suit while practicing shooting indoors is not hot? Girl, what can I say, he makes me feel some type of way.

01. ALICE – And finally, Alice! This girl breaks my heart and then puts it back every time I watch the movie. The way I see it, her determination for survival is masked by weakness and, yes, she may look afraid and even paralyzed by fear but she knows that playing the subjugation game is her best option to guarantee another day above ground, after all, what could a tiny human do against a crazy mother and a dangerous dad? (Survivable choices, anyone?) Alice lives day by day and that is commendable under those circumstances but once Fool crosses paths with her she is given the boost she needs to get the hell out of there, both physically and psychologically. I love the scene when she finds out she was stolen and passed as the couple’s daughter, oh man, her face and voice went from lost little girl to badass bitch in a second. I LOVE THAT SCENE!

Before I close this post and say goodbye to you, I would like to quickly mention one last character –the one and only, Roach! He was an overall sweet boy who became such an iconic figure in our horror community and for that, my dear horror friend, I say Thank you to Wes Craven for having given us the gift we didn’t know we needed.

In Love and Fear,

-Marath

© 2016-2020